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It has come to my attention that all is not well in Camp Goodison.Why ever not you may ask? Well one of our ducklings (an ugly one I might add) has toddled off.He must have been unhappy then.He was,he had just shook hands on a 100% wage rise,to take him to £15000 a week, after all.What then could make him so unhappy that he just had to leave.Greed.
This miserable,no good,ungrateful,badly injured footballer realised that, because the club had not put the offer in writing he just may be able to walk away 'on a free' thereby guaranteeing him a hefty signing on fee.As usual, the FA judged against us,even though we still have a legally binding contract for another 12 months.I can't believe the FA think that they are above the law of the land,but apparently any appeal is 'doomed to fail'.Goslings reward will be to sign for either West Ham(barely avoided relegation last year), Newcastle(haven't won the league since 1927) or Sunderland(well you just wouldn't go there would you?).Every time he returns to Goodison from now on he will rue the day,I guarantee.A little bit of me hopes he gets to see out his last12 months of misery with the club, preferably, in the stiffs.Gosling,go sling yer hook!
Everton: Love The Club,Hate the Players!
P.S. He can't play for at four months due a serious knee injury.Bring on the baseball bats.
Now that the dust has settled on our inglorious exit from the World Cup,it occured to me that Mitzi Muller would have no difficulty outrunning our so called 'defence'.Was it an accident that any player with any pace was deselected to make the final squad? Was it an accident that Capello took a few crocks along to make up the numbers? Was it an accident that John Terry decided to hold an unofficial press conference? Was it another accident that JT organised an 'impromptu' huddle at the end of the Slovakia game when clearly that is for the captain to orchestrate? Was it an accident that JT appeared unable to accept that he was NOT captain anymore; and appeared to be trying to undermine the person who took away the captaincy from him at every opportunity?
Disasters usually need three things to conspire to cause them.In this case,it was having a manager that didn't care,a team that didn't care; and even if they did care they didn't have the one pre-requisite that all modern day footballers need, to make it past the academy stage;PACE !! This was an accident waiting to happen and the only saving grace was that it wasn't the Argies that got to exact the coup de grace!
And is it possible to have an accidental conspiracy? Mmmm!
In an effort to keep up with the Jones's i.e. Vinogirl and her wines and Thud and his cider making,Lord Roby has decided to venture forth.The drink above is home made Limoncello.Inspired by the Hellas Verona fans in Italy, who faithfully imbibe this liquor on the way to away games,and home games, for that matter.After a week or so brewing; I approached it with trepidation after the England vs Algeria game.There was no need,it was an unqualified success.After a few snifters of this brew to add to the numerous pints that went before,I was absolutely mullered.And to think I only made it with 40 proof alcohol.The Italians, for whom every family has their own recipe,generally make it with 95 proof alcohol!! Lets hope we don't get 'Mullered' by the Germans tomorrow,one night of this stuff was quite enough thanks.
The Malian referee above excelled himslf on behalf of 'The Bastardi' the other night.How? By deciding that 5 Slovenian players holding,dragging and shirt-pulling,5 USA players constitutes a foul to Slovenia!!!! Consequently,he disallowed a perfectly good USA goal,which would have won the game for America ,thus crowning a remarkable comeback, from 2 goals down at half-time.The only reason for this, that I can formulate is; that the USA weren't supposed to win!! Apparently,'The Bastardi' are going to look into it on Monday.Yeah! just like they 'loooked into' Henri's handball winner against Ireland.In France's case lets hope their demise/disintegration is a case of 'what goes around,comes around'.In America's case, does anyone really think that anything other than a funny handshake will prevail?
'I'd like to play a game, that is so much fun and it's not so very hard to do.....'.So why make it more difficult than it is for England, by being hell bent on sending off as many players as possible on Saturday.The other day I found this guy,slightly amusing,regardless of his intentions.Now he is really starting to worry me! Today's news is that this joker and his officials have: 'learned 20 English swearwords'...'we can't do this in all languages'...No!, that would be too much like a level playing field.No victimisation there then.And who's to say he will understand,Stevie Geeeeelaaaa or Wayne Rooney's broad scouse accent anyway.And just how does 'Soft-Shite' translate in Portuguese? I just might do a spread bet on there being a world record low number of players to finish a World Cup match on Saturday.Oh and the song 'Simple Simon Says' was sung by The 1910 Fruitgum Company.Struth!!!
This is the start of what I hope, won't become a regular feature over the coming weeks.World Cup Bastardi Watch.To the unenlightened, 'The Bastardi' are those individuals or collectives that conspire to prevent your team from winning a game that they ought to.The above.. 'crook,scoundrel and shameless bastard' to quote the Palmeiras manager from his native Brazil, is about to officiate on England's opening game against the USA.Another quote from the same man Luis Gonzaga Belluzo.'He must be in someone's pocket,if I met him on the street would slap him'.Wherever this guy goes,controversy inevitably follows.He has previously been banned for 'a repetition of mistakes' .Blatter and Platini you have a lot to answer for already.
Stop Press: Gareth Barry won't now be fit for our opening and most difficult qualifier......ET TU FABIO....
With all the fine weather we have been having of late, it was inevitable there would be some wildlife casualties.The little chap above must have been indulging in a bit of badders by moonlight.Maybe he tried to jump the net at the end of his game.Either way in the cold light of day he was well and truly snared.I don't get to see enough hedgehogs and even fewer baby ones.Anyone know what they are called,hoglets maybe?...The trouble with this one was that he didn't know when he was onto a good thing.Everytime I got the scissors anywhere near him he just locked himself away.Since I didn't have any chloroform to hand I decided to play the waiting game.Maybe the dog food would tempt him.We all know how much they love a bowl of Chum.After about 2 hours of to-ing and fro-ing, the last of the net was finally snipped and he was free to go aforaging, without so much as a by your leave.Just another summers day in Two Dogs.
This event reminded me; when four Liverpool fans were playing football with a hedgehog right outside my house.I was absolutely disgusted.Just as I was about to ring the RSPCA, I heard a blood curdling squeal.As I turned to look, my horror turned to joy when I realised the hedgehog had gone 1 nil up! Some things never change.
