Showing posts with label toffees. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toffees. Show all posts

Sunday, 11 January 2009

Police On My Back


Last night Lord Roby had a close shave.After a few beers 5 33cls(trente-trois' in Belgie) in Brussels over a 4 hour period, I had to decide whether to drive the car from the station or use Shanks' Pony.The weather and the Toffees being on Match of the Day in a few minutes meant I was behind the wheel and off.About half way into the 5 minute journey I was passed by the local plod.This was the last thing I needed.I watched in my rear view mirror as they performed the obligatory u-turn.I was on the radar.It was time to get my foot down.I reached the road I needed to park up in only to find it blocked due to the local market!! It was time to rely on my wits and a couple of jiggers to get me to my apartment.I managed to get parked up and out of the car about 10 seconds before the plod cars headlights came in to view.There was only 1 thing left to do.Walk back towards the car.Well they would be looking for someone heading away from the car surely.This classic double bluff meant they shot past me to the badly parked car ahead, torches in hand and carried on away from me in pursuit of the culprit.Match of the day was ditched in favour of a classic double calvados.Phew! Next time I will walk.

Monday, 14 July 2008

Its Quim Up North!


Now I've travelled all over Western Europe and up and down the eastern seaboard of the US and wherever I've been I never see any girls to compare with the might of the scouse bird.Maybe it's genetic that I find local girls attractive ,you know propogation and all that.But then maybe it's just that they are head and shoulders above all other races.I am well qualified to judge....As Lady Roby once said to me "All you ever do is watch football and other women".Can't argue there then.Jennifer Ellison, shown above, as well as being a local lass is also a Toffee to boot.This has the added bonus that she would almost certainly get her kit ON in the bedroom.Now,this gentleman, doesn't normally prefer blondes ;but in this case I'm sure I could make an exception.Up the Toffees!