Wednesday, 11 November 2009

The Winner Takes It All

Last weekend Lord Roby was at a loose end.To spice things up a little he decided to have a little flutter.There is a new kinda bet in town.It's called Goals Galore.The premise is quite simple.All you have to do is pick football matches in which both teams will score.The more you get right,the more you win.However, get one wrong and it's curtains.Being a greedy bastard ,Lord Roby went for ten! If nothing else at least I would have plenty of scanning to do as the results started to come in.The first six came in rather quickly.Sheff Weds 1 -QPR 2,Aston Villa 5-Bolton 1,ManCity 3- Burnley 3, Wigan 1-Fulham 1,Falkirk who were bottom of the league drew 3-3 with Celtic who were top after being 0-0 at half-time! Number 6 was Blackpool 4,Scunthorpe 1.I was now starting to twitch The problem was that time was running out.Newcastle were winning 3-0,Tottenham were winning 1-0, and Blackburn were winning 3-0,but worst of all Notts Forest were drawing 0-0.Things were beginning to look hopeless until Portsmouth scored against Blackburn.7 up! With 10 minutes to go Peterborough pulled a goal back against Newcastle.Then with 5 minutes to go Notts Forest broke the deadlock.All I could do was stare at the TV and will the other two to score.Stone me! In the last minute Bristol City scored an equaliser!!!! I was now panting/ hyperventilating.All that left, was Sunderland to score. And then........the Sunderland and England striker Darren Bent breaks clear.Clean through on goal.The goalkeeper pulls him down.Penalty!! (and the goalkeeper sent off!!!!) Except, the referee inexplicably decides to only show the keeper a yellow card.Darren Bent steps against his old club and the keeper who isn't supposed to be there, saves his penalty.Bastardo!!! Tottenham run out 2-0 winners.If the penalty had been scored my meagre £3 bet would have returned the princely sum of £2103.The way things are at the moment the only luck I am getting is bad luck.Say La V

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

'O' livers Army

Jamie Janes: An apology from Jocky Brown

Janie Jones was a great soldier.Unfortunately one day his Ford Cortina just ran out of fuel on the battlefield.My sympathies go out to his mother Jack Jones.
As a soldier Jimmy James was no slouch,nor was he a vagabond.He was just working for the clampdown.His 'Mary Doll' said 'if he had had any career opportunities he wouldnae have been there at all.'
As a soldier Jim Jams worked tirelessly for his troop.Often going days without sleep chasing insurgents.
As a soldier Jammie Jim was no dodger.To imply that, really is taking the biscuit!

If there any typos in this please forgive me as I only have one eye,'s Brown...and I frequently talk out of it !!

RIP Jamie Janes....It's hard to defend yourself when all you have is a snub nosed 44.


Sunday, 8 November 2009

Red Red Whine

Somethings are beyond my comprehension.Not many.But some.The stance being taken by Liverpool and Man Utd over displaying poppies on their shirts this week-end is one of those incomprehensible things. Of all teams, both of these should know better.We have had many reminders down the years on the anniversary of the Munich air disaster in 1958 and it's effect on Man Utd and it's fans.Also,every year Liverpool steadfastly refuse to play on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.In fact they even lobbied UEFA to prevent a european game being staged on April 15th.The reason given for not displaying poppies, in both cases was..'we do enough for the armed forces as it is'. It's not the fans idea,and I'm pretty sure it's not the players idea.That leaves the Chief Exec and the owners.In both cases American.But why should American owners have an axe to grind? If it's the cost of a new strip for a day,then the shirts would instantly become collectors items and could auctioned off at a profit,with the proceeds going to the Haig Fund; which is exactly what most clubs are doing.Man Utd stuck to their guns and played today without a poppy in sight.Liverpool play tomorrow.Lets hope they have a change of heart at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month......