Wednesday, 23 February 2011

I Guess Thats Why They Call It The Blues

Since I took early redundancy( semi retirement) some eleven years ago, I have wound up my friends with the words....'The only time I get up to alarm clock now,is Everton away games in London'.....So last Saturday morning the alarm was well and truly set for the ungodly hour of 5.15 am.The reason was the FA Cup 4th Round Replay at Stamford Bridge,Chelsea.The first thing I thought as I left home in the rain shortly after was..'I must be efffing mad'...The train down was rammed.Not even standing room for a 4 hour journey.Luckily,I got a seat.No refreshments either.The trolley could not get through.If a visit to the loo was required,the only way to the loo, was to get off at the next station and run down the platform to the loo carraige.Except when you got there you realised the queue was back to where you were sitting in the first place! Cue empty beer cans.Hopefully out of view of the ubiquitous CCTV cameras and children.And that was just the women amongst us!! Still the journey passed rather uneventfully, considering how much beer an brandy had been consumed.After a few beers outside Euston in the Royal George it was now getting late.No time to buy an Underground ticket.So it was time for a bit of 'ducking and diving'.This comes natural.
With a minute to go of extra-time Everton were losing 1-0.Then a free kick in a dangerous position.Bainsy sends it into the top corner and its pandemonium.If I ever wondered for a minute why I bother,the question was answered in full right there and then.At moments like this a kind of strange,surreal,semi reality becomes slow motion...Any worries are immediately purged from within and replaced by temporary euphoria.As it was at the end of penalties when we scored the winner.Now,way back in 1970 I watched Everton win the first ever penalty shoot out in the European Cup.I had only seen them win one more since.A curse if there ever was one.Back in 1970 I went to bed as an 11 year old boy and kicked the quilt cover til I fell asleep.
So it was off to the George for a few more beers, a few cans for the train (that rocked all the way back) and into the City for a few more beers; before it was off to bed.After another session of....'rolling like thunder under the covers', I slept like an 11 year old boy without a care in the world.Some things never change.

Friday, 4 February 2011


There has been a lot of mud slinging of late between two of Englands footballing stalwarts.Everton,who hold the WORLD record for the most seasons in top flight football,over 100;and Arsenal,who hold the record for the longest unbroken spell in the English top division.The reason is, that one of the Arsenal players,Cesc Fabregas has been reportedly accusing the mighty Everton,a bastion of English football, of bribing match officials in return for ' favours'.Cesc's manager, Arsene 'the Arse of Arsenal' Wenger has also accused the Everton manager,David Moyes, of lying In my eyes that make them Two Dogs arses!! Moyes has come out fighting and today went public.He has confirmed what the press had previously reported, namely that Cesc had in fact accused Everton FC of bribing officials.His manger 'Arse of the Arse' has also accused Moyes of pretending he heard the accusation!! Anal Arse is a man who conveniently 'never sees' any transgression by his players.Clearly a man of little integrity.Arse is also claiming a media witch-hunt against his star player.This is the same player who allegedly told a lower league player to 'fcuk off' when asked to swap shirts after a recent FA Cup tie.He also allegedly spat at an opposing manager.He also allegedly tried to get his friend and ex collegue Mikel Arteta sent off by feigning injury.He also tried to end the same players career last week by stamping on his achilles tendon,allegedly.Methinks the allegations are starting to stack up.The thing is Cesc like mud,the other thing that sticks is the fruits of your disgusting,dirty,no good Spanish lungs!! Superstar? My Arse!! Strange then, that when you look at the stats.This season, Arsenal have been 'awarded' 14 penalties, the corrupt, no good, incorrigibles of Goodison Park have been awarded...well....none!!Mmmmmmmmmmmm!